MiR 103 – Annoying American Female Speech Patterns

May 10, 2014


You’re listening to episode # 103 of the Mark in Russia Broadcast, and I’m Mark………………………


The very first podcasts I produced more than 100 episodes ago were part of a series called “ Pet Peeves #………………” I used this series to illustrate some annoying common mistakes made by Russians learning English and how to correct them.

Today’s episode will also spotlight a pet peeve of mine. In the past 6 years I’ve had the opportunity to listen to thousands of hours of radio and podcasts about a whole cornucopia of topics, pretty much whatever tickled my fancy at the time. I listen to both male and female voices and have picked up on some patterns, almost exclusively with females.

Although I absolutely despise listening to any liberal speaking politics, and won’t, if a lib has a radio show or podcast on anything other than politics I’ll certainly listen to it if it is good. In order to break my findings down even further, the most annoying speech patterns belong to liberal statist women. Conservative women speakers typically sound more natural, less automaton and how shall I put this?………………………….. More like a woman.

I’ll be playing some sound samples today to illustrate what I’m speaking about and I don’t want to give the impression that I’m making fun of the individual or the program that they are narrating, I’m not. Some of these annoying speech patterns are attached to people who are interesting and present good material. If they would only lose the annoying habits, they could be the complete package.

First let’s listen to a sample of “upspeak”. This is where there is a rise in tone at the end of a sentence, but not when posing a question, which would be a normal and a correct time for this rise in tone. But no, I’m just speaking about simple statements.


Well, let’s listen to one now


Yeah, you heard that rising tone on the word “memory”, which was a statement and not a question. Here’s another:


Here we have a business speech expert give her two cents worth:


Our expert gives an example and then goes on to explain that this pattern of speech will typically keep you from obtaining a high position within a company and can be a disaster for your career.

I’ll go into things in more depth but let’s first listen to a little comedy routine between Julia Louise Dryfuss and Jimmy Kimmel.



Since the 1990s with the advent of Valley Girl speak and its subsequent mockery in pop-culture this “upspeak” trend had continued. The New York Times claims that, “Whether it be uptalk (pronouncing statements as if they were questions? Like this?), or the incessant use of “like” as a conversation filler, vocal trends associated with young women are often seen as markers of immaturity or even stupidity.


But linguists — many of whom once promoted theories consistent with that attitude — now say such thinking is outmoded. Girls and women in their teens and 20s deserve credit for pioneering vocal trends and popular slang, they say, adding that young women use these embellishments in much more sophisticated ways than people tend to realize.

“A lot of these really flamboyant things you hear are cute, and girls are supposed to be cute,” said Penny Eckert, a professor of linguistics at Stanford University. “But they’re not just using them because they’re girls. They’re using them to achieve some kind of interactional and stylistic end.”


Well, let me take that New York Times statement apart. First of all, this is all that could be expected from the Times which is a liberal rag sheet and deifies anything and all about women and girls. This gets a bit old and stale. Perhaps this is one of the reasons that the New York Times like all liberal newspapers is shrinking at a super fast rate and will be extinct in a few short years. Thank God.

Yes, women speaking like a bunch of air-headed, silly, retarded morons is “trendsetting” in the eyes of the Times, but in the eyes ( or better to say ears) of those of us forced to listen to this, it sounds immature and indicates a severe lack of self confidence. If this is the image that these girls want to project, then they are doing a bang up job of it. It clearly shows the unoriginal trajectory of young Americans these days. Follow the example of some pop-culture star and all sound ridiculous.

Living outside of the States I hear so many returning visitors commenting on how uneducated people in America are becoming, and this is based in a large part to the sounds of our communication. In a few short years we’ve gone from a nation to be imitated to a nation to be laughed at and mocked. So yeah, I’m pissed at the airheaded ditzes who have spread the sounds of ignorance.

I’m especially amazed at the way that this messed up way of speaking has even spread to TV hosts and especially radio. It’s as if women who want to get into radio or audio media try to incorporate these screwed up styles as part of their own. When you sound like an immature airhead with no confidence, your message or material is already discounted because of this. Talk about a glass ceiling? Ladies, you’ve installed this one yourself.

Some time back I decided that I would not longer allow the liberal word police to dictate to me anymore about Politically Correct speech and I would no longer practice the Facist requirement of self-censorship.

With this newly acquired freedom to be normal, I’d like to say that when a guy does this “upspeak” stuff, he sounds only like a pussified demanned fag. Why do young men, and some not so    young men allow society to teach them that acting like a guy is being a “bully” and we should all act like pussified chicks? I’d much rather die as a man than live like a chick.

Let’s listen to an example of this.


So WTF, does this guy not even know his name, age and school? Well, that is how it sounds to English speakers who aren’t pussified.

Very often the so called men that upspeak are the fathers of teenage girls. So, now we learn how to speak from our children? To these guys I have to say that you are a pathetic excuse for a man and not so hot in terms of teaching your kids.

So, the liberal facist word police have first succeeded in demanding to dictate what we can or can’t say and now how we say it. Most Americans don’t notice it so much because they are willing accomplices in this shift and they don’t see it happen. I only travel to the States about one a year and the shift becomes very apparent and prominent each time I’m there.


OK, let’s shift now from this effeminate immature “upspeak” trend to something else known as “vocal fry”. What is vocal fry? Let’s listen to an exaggerated example of vocal fry.


Yeak, OK. That was a bit exaggerated, but necessary to tune your ears for my other examples.


Again, it is primarily young women who now use this extremely annoying speech pattern. In fact a study done in 2012 on females between 25 and 34 years of age showed that fully 2/3 of the group used this vocal fry, typically at the end of their sentences. Prior to a decade ago, if you heard a person speaking in this manner it indicated serious vocal cord problems. So, why the hell do these females do this? Well, there are different theories, one being that they feel that their voices are too high and won’t be taken serious enough, so by doing this “growling” thing at the end of their sentence they believed that it will give them more credibility. Another theory is that because some of the pop idols of this class of young females do this regularly such as Kim Kardashien and some singer named Kesha.

In any case, it sounds like crap and to the women in broadcasting that do this, it makes you appear to be the little girl who is trying to seem all grown-up by wearing her dad’s shirts. It doesn’t work.


Here are a few more clips giving you more examples:



Asphalt Wommmmmmmbbbbbbbbbbbbb


Pop culture

Break down

This young lady may actually be telling a good intriguing story, but many of us will never know because we are just put off by her pretentiousness.

Here’s a women broadcaster speaking normal:


I can listen to that and even get interested in the story.

How about some vocal fry and upspeak?

The next example sounds like about an 8 year old girl trying to sound serious with her miniature roar.


In all of the above examples I really mean no harm to the women who were speaking. Their material may have been great even, but they should know that they sound ridiculous and trying to change their voice is not having a positive effect or outlook.

The next couple of examples are from a so-called woman who I truly dislike. Her name is Sandra Fluke and she is an Obama operative. Her voice, but more importantly her attitude makes me envision scenes where I finally silence her and resolve my headache with the swinging of a shovel. Not a pretty sight or thought, but no great loss.


Yeah, I’m already seeing that shovel


Now swinging that shovel


Now silence.

The next clip will be a normal one. The woman speaks in such a way that we understand she’s a female and apparently not transgendering as the vocal fry folks sound. No upspeak and because of this she sounds both interesting and confident.


Now, what’s wrong with that?


Six years ago after meeting with and being interviewed by a well known U.S. reporter who was visiting the city where I live in Russia I remembered that this reporter pieced together very interesting stories and as a result of hearing her, I got bit by the radio bug myself.

Here’s Annie:


Had Annie used upspeak or vocal fry, would the radio bug have bit me? Hell, I don’t know, but I do know I enjoyed her stories, which I’m less likely to do if a woman uses these terrible speech patterns. So I thank Annie and the fact that she was born in a more serious and less shallow time and for the fact that I now spend half of my income on an ever expanding microphone collection. Thanks Ann!


Actually, although I keep saying that I’ll play one last clip, this one will really be the final one.

I may not be fond of these newer female mostly speech patterns, they still sound on their worst day, 100 times better than a democrat politician. Thank you Mark Levin for the following sputtering Democrat fool montage.



Thanks for listening to today’s broadcast. I hope you found it interesting enough to come back again next time. Until then, GoodBye!

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